dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
i think im in europe. pls send help
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
