well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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