wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
