Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize