You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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