I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
