i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
