I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
