you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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