i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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