You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
