I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
