i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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