You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
