we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
