am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
