It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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