i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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