Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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