I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize
