I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
