That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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