porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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