I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
