I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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