If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
