Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
