im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
