My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
