I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize