the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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