I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
