have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
