Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
