literally had 100 drinks last night.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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