Is it normal to miss your booty call?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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