Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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