If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
