the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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