He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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