we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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