I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
