she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
