Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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