Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
