I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
