my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
