a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
