He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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