don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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