So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
