I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
