this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
