Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I will be naked everywhere
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
