She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize