I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
