Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
