It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
