There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
