i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
