Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
